Just another night

My cat, Wally, would not get off the counter. He was going nuts. I would yell at him and set him down and He would jump right back up there and run back and forth. I listened a little closer and I could hear a scratching noise. Wally was trying to tell me that the whole time. Mike and I decided it was a bug or a mouse in our exhaust above the stove. We turned on the fan and could hear it smacking the object, satisfied that we had killed whatever it was we went to bed.

The next morning I slid open the screen to expose the exhaust fan. I slid it really slow, expecting a mouse to jump out at me. Nothing fell out and I couldn't see anything up there. I left it open. If it was a mouse or bug it had to come out so I could kill it and so it wouldn't decompose and smell like death. I left Wally inside that whole day as an assassin.

I know a lot of people don't care for cats and I'm not sure why. They are really self sufficient and entertain themselves. I rarely have to change the litter box- he would rather go outside. He is very loving and I love his little white feet.

I adopted Wally from my former landlord. He was turning into a nuisance at her home, however if I was wally, I would have slit her throat with my tiny claws. She had a huge Labrador that would pick up the cat by his head and carry him around. Later the cat would retaliate and pee on the dogs bed. They took him to the vet and had him fixed, or broken, depending on how you look at it. Wally still would destroy things. So she took him to the pound. Afterwards she came to my house crying and I caved in and told her to rescue him and I adopted him.

He immediately took to clawing the stuffin's out of my furniture especially the underside of my bed. He would chew the screens and claw the arm of my beautiful new couch. So I took him back to the vet and had him de-clawed. They shaved his little white feet and he looked so funny. Vet said not to let him jump around because it would crack the surgical glue and he would bleed. He was jumping and running the second I brought him home. He never slowed down one bit.

It's amazing how a cat can still destroy things without claws. One day he slipped outside and I was terrified that he wouldn't come home. But after about an hour he was yelling at the backdoor. I let him outside every night after that and he is waiting for food first thing in the morning. He lays on the back of the couch all day and he lets me pet his white paws. In the winter he sleeps on my cold feet. Sometimes he kills little mice and rabbits and leaves them on my back porch as presents. Love my little meow meow kitty.

I hear scratching again, this time in the living room. I tell Mike to turn down the TV and he doesn't hear it. "I really hear something", I say. He says, "Where does it sound like its coming from?" I tilt down the halogen lamp above my head. Mike very calmly says, "ok, stop. Set the lamp back up and get off the couch." I get up and I am still very confused. I knew it was a tarantula. I just knew it. Mike says, "Ok now I'm gonna need your help because there is a bat in the lamp. I saw it's face looking at me when you tilted the lamp." There was absolutely no way I was going to help in any bat removal. I put my sandals on to go get the neighbors. Mike assured me I was to play a small role in the bat process. I got a small blanket out of the closet and he threw it over the lamp. I unplugged the lamp and opened the door. He walked the lamp outside and I closed the door. Gus and I watched as the lamp fell over and the bat rolled out in the yard. It broke the lamp and I think knocked the bat slightly retarded. The bat was gone in about 20 minutes and I eventually let Mike back in the house.

The bat had snuck in through the exhaust fan. It was a bat not a mouse or bug. When we had turned on the fan to kill it we must have been beating his little pointy ears over and over and over. I realized the dust bunnies on the floor probably came from the bat flailing around in the ceiling fan. I also realized that Wally was not the trained killer I thought he was. He's a lover not a fighter.

Lewis Carrol

The Walrus and the Carpenter

"The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright --
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done --
'It's very rude of him,' she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!'
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead --
There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
'If this were only cleared away,'
They said, 'it would be grand!'
'If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?'
'I doubt it,' said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
'O Oysters, come and walk with us!'
The Walrus did beseech.
'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.
The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head --
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat --
And this was odd, because, you know,
Thay hadn't any feet.
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And think and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more --
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And the they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
"The time has come,' the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --
Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
And whether pigs have wings.'
'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
'Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
'No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
'Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed --
Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.'
'But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue,
'After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!'
'The night is fine,' the Walrus said,
'Do you admire the view?
'It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
'Cut us another slice.
I wish you were not quite so deaf --
I've had to ask you twice!'
'It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread to thick!'
'I weep for you,' the Walrus said;
'I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
'O Oyster,' said the Carpenter,
'You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none --
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one."